


At My Most Beautiful

by Talullah



Category: Latter Days (2003)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-13
Updated: 2006-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-25 07:38:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1639349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/pseuds/Talullah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giving thanks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At My Most Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to the most excellent Jaiden S for the beta and for giving me the DVD in the first place. *smooch*
> 
> Written for the [ 2006 Yuletide Rare Fandom Exchange](http://www.yuletidetreasure.org/), for Drew, who requested Latter Days, Aaron Davis/Christian Markelli; What happened after the scene in the restaurant at the end?
> 
> I'm assuming that a few days, possibly a fortnight have passed between Aaron's appearance at Lil's and the Thanksgiving dinner.
> 
> Title from the R.E.M. Song that inspired this fic.
> 
> [Disclaimer/Blanket Statement](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talullah/profile)

_Sometimes it all still feels like a mess of dots, but more and more these days I feel that we're all connected, and it's beautiful, and funny, and good._

Christian fell back across his bed, letting a delicious feeling of tiredness spread throughout his limbs. In the same fluid movement, Aaron rested his head on his stomach and took his hand to play idly with it. A delicate blue light seeped in through the curtains, tingeing their bodies in cool shades reminiscent of nude photography.

The euphoria of lovemaking slowly turned to contentment. Christian tried to engrave the moment in his mind, but he knew well the fickle nature of memories - never exact, always distorted by the predominant feeling of the moment. And in that moment, that feeling was of utter contentment. He ran his fingers through Aaron's hair once, dropping his hand to the mattress before the caress was completed.

Aaron sighed deeply and let their entwined hands fall to his chest. "It can't be a sin," he said quietly.

"It isn't one," Christian replied, slumber already seeping through his voice. "You are incredible."

Aaron chuckled softly. "I would have thought that you had experienced better than an almost virgin Mormon boy."

"Well, quantity does not necessarily equal quality," Christian replied soberly. "That night at the airport motel... I don't think I'll ever forget it, not a single detail. And every time we have been together has been even better."

"That's good to know." Aaron took their hands to his lips. "Because I won't ever forget it either. But at that time it was so bittersweet. I thought that was the last time in my life I would ever be allowed to be happy."

Christian had no words for that. When he had woken to find Aaron gone that morning, he had felt that he had lost a battle, perhaps the most important battle of his life. Now he could hardly recognize himself in this domestic person he had become, and yet, life by Aaron's side, tame and quiet, was happier than he had ever known.

"I took your watch to your mom when I heard..." again he idly petted Aaron's hair. All Aaron had told him so far from their time apart related to the 'reconversion centre'. Christian knew he held back on discussing his family out of loyalty, but he felt the need to press the subject now and then, hoping for an overture.

"You shouldn't have. I didn't forget it. I wanted you to have something of me."

Aaron lifted his head from Christian's stomach and turned to lie belly down. He inched his way on his elbows to lie by Christian's side.

"You never told me what that key was for..." he said, playing with Christian's necklace.

Christian grinned. "That's the key to heaven."

Aaron sat up in the bed, sombrely looking down. "Don't blaspheme. Please."

"I'm sorry," Christian said, reaching out his hand to touch him. "It was just a joke."

His tender touch convinced Aaron to lay back by his side.

"Do you still believe in all that?" Christian asked.

Aaron sighed. "No, not all of it. But I do believe in a God who works miracles, and to whom we should be thankful."

"You would like Lila's God."

Aaron chuckled. "I've heard of him. And you, don't you believe in anything?"

Christian turned to lay on his side, facing Aaron. "I'm not sure..." he almost whispered. "I didn't used to, but when you showed up at Lila's door... I would like to think that such an incredible coincidence was the fruit of a kind hand. I would have counted my blessings of this year at dinner tonight if I had not felt ridiculous."

"Why would that embarrass you? Do you think faith is shameful?" Aaron's question was kind and probing, not at all the accusatory tone that he would have used a few months back.

Christian held him closer. "I think faith is a very private matter. I wouldn't speak of that to anyone else, you know."

Aaron nodded. "In a way I can understand. I've been raised to speak openly of faith and the love of God, but I know what it was like to have a secret, something so intimate that no one should be allowed to touch, that no one around me could understand. You can talk freely about your sexuality here in West Hollywood, but I can see that you'd want to keep for yourself something as tender as faith. Believing here is regarded as some romantic notion of feeble minds."

"Do you think I should be brave about it?" Christian asked semi-teasing. "I'm not even really sure if I do believe it..."

"No, no... I don't expect you to embark on a crusade. When I had my chance to speak up to defend my sexual preferences, I came here instead. So I don't blame anyone who will choose a different way of living their beliefs."

"Where has my candid little missionary fled?" Christian joked.

"I don't think he exists anymore. It is wrong to force beliefs on people."

"You should tell that to my father..."

Christian's remark brought silence upon them, but they did not fall asleep.

"How will it be for us?" Aaron asked at length. Christian excelled in making short term plans. They would visit Julie in New York during Christmas, then Mexico in the Spring... but Aaron often wondered about a longer time frame. He wanted to grow old by Christian's side, but he could not imagine Christian wanting the same. The tie between them seemed so fragile, and yet it kept resisting terrible mix-ups, time, and now the little annoyances of daily life.

Christian carefully replied, "We'll take it one day at a time." This was his usual answer, but tonight it was not enough for Aaron.

"What if you become a major star? Will you be more careful with your lifestyle? Will there still be room for me in your life?"

"I don't know," Christian started, brushing his fingers on Aaron's cheek. "I wish I could tell you that we'll live happily ever after, but I don't know. Meeting you and everything that happened after has changed me, though. I don't think I could live in the closet, after all that I've been through with my father. And frankly, I don't think I'll ever be a major star. I'll be happy if I land a role in some soap that ensures me a nice pay-check. You should be in college, but neither of us can afford that right now."

Aaron nodded. It was still too short of what he wanted to hear, but it was progress. "You won't have to support me forever. I've been interviewing for jobs like mad this last week, and I think something will come along soon enough."

"I'm sure it will," Christian said softly. "I wish you would have taken the job Lila offered you."

"She's very sweet... but I don't think it's a good idea that we spend 24/7 glued to each other. I'm still trying to come to terms with a lot of stuff."

"I know," Christian whispered. "Me too, but I'm happy. You are too, right?"

"Yeah..." A smile lit Aaron's face, one of those sweet, dazzling 1000 watt smiles of his, propagating to Christian's lips.

"This may sound corny, but I love you," he said.

Aaron's smile grew brighter. "I love you too."

_Finis  
November 2006_


End file.
